Return on Investment

“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters.”   -Jean-Paul Kauffmann

This may be so, but it has never been less true than of parents and children.  Children are a product of parenting, whether it is positive or negative. I’m no economist but I would expect to be studying the markets, taking time and researching big decisions before making an investment in anything.  So why is it that as a parent so many of my decisions are based on split second thinking and heat of the moment reactions?  Because I’m dealing with another human being; not stocks and shares or wind and rain.  All are unpredictable, but the impact of a parent on their child has far greater influence, lasting for life not a financial quarter or a season. I’m convinced, though, that the more I know and understand my daughter, and the more she knows and understands me the less frequent emotional decisions become.  I am lucky to spend the majority of my time with my daughter which, although not always easy or stress free, has been the key to where we are 2.5 years after she entered my world.  When I don’t invest time in her I start to notice our connection is marred by menial tasks and the necessity of ‘just getting things done’.  It’s the difference between asking her to think about her actions before I react to them, rather than tempestuously dealing out discipline.  I find that even at this young age a simple question like “do you think that was sensible or silly?” gets her to think positively about her behaviour as she is encouraged to take ownership of her actions.  But essentially I have to be in tune with her emotions and why she may react in one way to a situation on a Monday and completely differently to the same situation on a Tuesday.  If I’m aware of what has happened in leading up to a specific event then I am much better prepared to deal with any potential outburst in a successful way.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not always in tune, and even if I feel like I am I certainly don’t always deal with it in the ‘right’ way, but it certainly helps to know where she’s coming from.

The same is true of all of our relationships in life.  By spending a healthy amount of time with those around you it is far easier to tune into their emotional state and, together, deal with any issues that may arise.  Are there relationships that aren’t as strong as they once were? Probably.  Are there people you don’t seem to connect with anymore? Quite likely.  Is there someone who you could be making more effort with?  Almost certainly.  Now, I’m not saying that everyone you know needs an equal investment of time and energy because that’s unrealistic and unmanageable but, as hinted at in my last post, don’t rely on others to make the first move.  If there are friends, family members or even your partner who you feel at friction with then it may be time to check your diary and book in some time to spend with them...if it means something to you.  I don’t mean that to sound crass but if there are those in your life who perhaps you have lost a connection with then it’s probably time to mourn the loss of that and chalk it down to a lesson learnt.  Relationships are all for a time.  Some will last a life time; others maybe only a year, but there are always positive things to emerge from a broken relationship.  Look at how you’ve changed.  What impact has it had on your life?  And how will you do things differently with the next friendship you embark on?

Once again, it’s about prioritising people and making people your priority.  It just makes good sense to decide who those people in your life will be.  An investment in these people will almost certainly produce a positive return as you will be built up and learn things to pass along in future friendships.  There’s no magic formula and the number of close relationships will be different for different people.  It is a good idea to assess those in your life and acknowledge that you will not share the same level of intimacy with everybody.  So maybe it’s time to do a stock check, an analysis of relationships in your life.  Where will you be making your next investments?  Where are you seeing your biggest returns?